The 35th Day of School

A sleepy breakfast before school

Only 35 days of school so far?  Jeremy would probably say that it feels like 135.  It's too early to reach a final verdict on the kids' school experience.  They have had very little time to learn Hebrew, get to know their classmates, and feel a part of the class.  On the other hand, our time in Israel is winding down (only 6 weeks left) so it's time to assess the school experience and, perhaps, to make some changes.


Marc and I have agonized for countless hours about these fundamental questions:
1) Are the kids happy?
2) Is this immersion working?  Is it giving them the two things we hoped for - a fun experience in Israel and a chance to learn Hebrew?
3) Is there anything more that we could be doing to help the kids succeed?

Here are the short answers, with the gory details below:
1)  Yes.
2)  Yes, pretty much, for Talia. No, not really, for Jeremy.
3)  It depends on what we really mean by "succeed."

1)  Most of the time, and most importantly, I think the kids are happy.  They take joy in many things - from exploring caves and ruins, to playing Israeli card games, to playing soccer at the park, to going out to dinner (shawarma and hummus for Talia, anything East Asian for Jeremy, which is more of a challenge).  And, they usually have the patience and humor to cope with less interesting activities.  (Bribing them with ice cream also helps.)  As far as school goes, they get up early and walk there - six days a week - without complaint. That says something!  It can't be all that bad....

Talia with a crown made at school

2)  Is the school immersion experience working?  Well, yes and no.

Talia really likes school.  On rare occasions, she complains that "the day is too long," and to be honest 5 and 1/2 hours of Hebrew sounds long to me, too!  Usually, though, she bounds out of the apartment in the morning with a smile.  As far as learning Hebrew, Talia is blessed with the (lack of) inhibition and the nimble neural pathways of a 5-year-old.  We aren't sure what she understands, but she's clearly developed some school vocabulary ("quiet down, come, enough!, sit"), and we often hear her babbling to herself in a mix of Hebrew and Hebrew-sounding words.  When we play cards, she counts in Hebrew and today she learned to say "I won!"  At school, she probably gets by with a lot of hand signals and smiles.  It doesn't seem like she's able to converse with the other kids, but she does tell us, "The other kids are learning me Hebrew words!" (We, meanwhile, have apparently not been too strict about teaching her correct English!)  In short, Talia is having fun and learning some Hebrew.  Her school immersion seems to be a good fit.  In fact, she'll probably miss it when we leave. 

Jeremy walking home from school with his Kindle

Jeremy's experience in Kitah Gimmel (3rd grade) has been quite different (and perhaps I should have realized how different it would be).  In 3rd grade, kids aren't playing in the pretend kitchen or making puzzles on the carpet. They are learning about history and science and math, and doing a lot of sitting still and listening to teachers speak fast in advanced Hebrew.  Ugh.  That must be a really long day.

For the first few weeks, Jeremy sat and, I think, felt lost.  He brought home lots of drawings in those early days - I thought that was remarkable because he had always hated drawing!  I was impressed that he found this outlet for his creativity and this way to overcome total boredom.  Soon enough, though, Jeremy and his teacher asked us to let him bring a book to school.  We were hesitant to say OK to this plan; we feared that he would not pay any attention to the teacher and not learn any more Hebrew. On the other hand, we realized that we had to give Jeremy something to do so that he wouldn't hate school and feel that it was a waste of his time. So, he began to read during class.  He does set his book aside to participate in math, gym class and yoga (yes, 3rd graders have yoga here).  The rest of the time, though, his head is in a book.

This self-education has been fruitful.  Jeremy knows Greek mythology inside and out (and Greece has been added to our itinerary this year).  He's also been reading about Roman mythology and has asked if we can visit Pompeii, which we learned about from a book, not from us.  And he's been reading about Egyptian mythology and is very excited about our upcoming visit the Pyramids at Giza and Luxor. 

Jeremy having fun on his way home from school

With all the reading he has done, his English vocabulary has blossomed. Just today he teased me by saying "I will disembowel and flay you!"  (How can you protest when your child attacks you with such graceful language?)  He also objected to last night's dinner, proclaiming to Marc, "Dad, I find your cooking repulsive!"  (Let the record reflect, however, that Jeremy ate everything that Marc cooked for him.)  On the other hand, his Hebrew has not progressed as much as he (or we) hoped.  And, more difficult, he has not really connected with other kids.  I think it's been a lonely but not unhappy experience. About a week ago, after much deliberation including a meeting with one of his teachers, we told Jeremy that he could quit school and start his homeschooling (rather than wait to start homeschooling when we leave Israel). He thought about it but decided to stay in school. Jeremy is someone who loves reading, thinking, and daydreaming. At school in Israel, he gets plenty of time to do his favorite things! He also loves his newfound independence - we walk him to school, but he walks home on his own, sometimes stopping to buy an ice cream.  He is embarrassed when we walk too close to the school entrance with him and he asked the other day when he can get a cell phone.  Is he 13 already?!

Talia tries on her new outfit the night before school

3)  So, the school experience hasn't been the "fast and easy immersion" that I expected (and foolishly promised to the kids).  Every parent out there who reads this blog will understand that we have agonized about this:  Did we set our kids up to fail? What could we have done to make it easier? Should we stay in Israel longer to give them more time to learn Hebrew, make friends and "succeed"?  Should we pull Jeremy out of school sooner so that he can go on field trips with us and "learn something"?  Should we force Jeremy to attend the after-school ulpan (Hebrew language class), which we tried for a while but which he hated and made him miserable?  Should we have tried harder to find a one-on-one tutor, after the tutor he liked was no longer available?  Should we just forget about learning Hebrew since we are leaving soon anyway?  I could give you another 50 questions and twice as many possible answers.  After many weeks of agonizing, though, I have finally reached some conclusions:  My expectations were unrealistic. My kids have not failed; they have each succeeded in navigating an enormous challenge.  They have done so differently because they are different - from each other and from us.  Marc and I could have done more to help (for example, wouldn't it have been great if we all studied Hebrew together before we left the United States?). But we couldn't live this experience for the kids.  No matter what we did, they would each do this their own way.

We're definitely getting closer, literally and figuratively

So, we won't go home speaking Hebrew.  But we will go home with a much stronger connection to Israel - the land, the history, and a few wonderful people we've met (if not lots of new friends).  And I think we're also developing a stronger connection to one another ... and greater understanding and respect for each other.  Marc agrees - though when I told him today that I think the kids are getting closer, he smiled and said "yes ... slowly!"  

The bottom line is that we are having so much fun and so many amazing adventures in Israel that we can handle some loneliness and boredom.  But, we are also reminded every day of what we love most at home:  our family and friends.  Dear readers, especially those of you who are in Kindergarten and 3rd Grade:  We miss you!!  Can we please have a playdate when we get back?