"How are you coping?"

At the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul

"How are you all coping?” a good friend from Oakland asked recently. Well, the answer depends on when you ask the question. Is it when the kids are jumping up and down in front of a waterfall or in an ancient fort, screaming with joy: “This is awesome! We love this!”? Or, is it after midnight in a cramped, musty hotel room when the kids, unable to sleep, are crying and screaming in misery: “We hate this trip! We want to go home right now and see our friends!”?

Ah, the vicissitudes of the Bruner Family Journey. This experience is an enriching, once-in-a-lifetime adventure full of fun and wonder. But it's also exhausting and, at times, exasperating. Eden calls it an endurance test – indeed, there are times I'm so tired I totally forget what country I'm in and what currency I'm holding in my hand. For all of us, there are certainly moments of burnout, homesickness and frustration.  And for the kids at least, there are also moments of intense boredom. We have card games, books, toys, a chess set, colored pens and drawing paper, and various electronic devices (Kindle, iPod, computer). But there are long bus, train and plane rides where these are not enough to quell the kids' restlessness and their boundless desire to be doing something else. Jeremy regularly begs me to entertain him, and I've tried my best to perform one comic routine after another – from Monty Python (“Dinsdale was born in February 1929 and then again two weeks later.” “I blow my nose in your general direction! Now, go away, or I shall taunt you for a second time!”), to Mel Brooks (“Paul Revere was an anti-semite, yelling all through the night, “The Yiddish are coming, the Yiddish are coming!”), to Seinfeld (“George, I need a calzone! Where's my calzone, George?”), to early Woody Allen movies (“Virgil Starkwell was sentenced to 800 years in prison, but he knew, that with good behavior, he could cut his sentence in half.”).

Talia makes friends in Madurai, India

We all need effective coping mechanisms to manage this long, intense challenge. Thankfully, Jeremy is a voracious reader and devours book after book on his Kindle. For Talia, we read her books from home like Madeline's Rescue, Curious George Makes Pancakes, King Solomon and the Bee, and Miss Nelson Is Missing. We also picked up some English children's books for her in India and Sri Lanka – she now knows what a custard apple and a jackfruit look like, that an “auto rickshaw” in India is the same thing as a “three wheeler” in Sri Lanka, that "L" is for "lorry," and that another word for eggplant is “brinjal.” Both kids have used the iPod for various recreational and (sometimes) educational purposes – and I'm proud to say they are becoming experts in identifying the official flags of the nations of the world. As you might have surmised, the kids have now seen cartoons – especially the ubiquitous SpongeBob – dubbed into at least nine different languages (Hebrew, Arabic, Turkish, Tamil, Sinhalese, Cantonese, Mandarin, Bahasa Indonesia and Malay). And we all cheer when there's a double bill of Indiana Jones movies on TV at the hotel – in English!

At Karnak Temple in Luxor, Egypt

But naturally, the kids miss their friends and being with children their own age. Without doubt, this is the biggest day-to-day challenge that we've faced on this adventure. Sometimes, the kids fill the void by joyfully playing with each other, like having a pillow fight, inventing silly characters, playing hide and seek, or making fun of us. But other times, the age difference leads to divergent desires and leaves both kids frustrated and upset – and the fun and games end in hurt feelings or even a fight.  Eden and I continually have to look for ways to engage the kids on their own level – by being silly and playing like children play, not like how adults want or expect them to play. But let's face it – Eden and I are not children. We do our best to fulfill our kids' needs, but we're poor substitutes for real peers and playmates.  Jeremy is keenly aware of this and articulates it very clearly ("I need to be with kids my own age!").  Talia is aware of this too, even if she can't express it as eloquently.

Hiking in Sde Boker, Israel

As for the adults, Eden spends a lot of time and effort managing the daily routine of our lives: making sure we go to bed on time and get enough sleep – and have a decent hotel room to sleep in; we eat our fruits and vegetables; we have clean clothes to wear; we have all of our documents and tickets ready for our next bus/boat/taxi/train/plane ride; we have enough soap, towels, bedding, etc. at each destination; and we take baths or showers (hopefully with hot water) every now and then. She does an amazing job of keeping this wacky train on the tracks – and of keeping us from getting too tired, dirty and smelly! 

Playing dead in a sarcophagus, Beit She'arim, Israel

I spend a lot of time planning what exotic places we're going to visit, and then Eden and I sell the plan to the kids. Each new place, each new day, the kids ask, “Do we have to do any sightseeing?” Sometimes, it all works out and the plan is a big hit with the kids. But other times it's a big flop, and the kids let us know it:  “Dad, this is so boring, we already saw a [temple/fort/palace/ancient ruin/giant Buddha statue/market/mountain/waterfall/village] just like this yesterday!”

I also spend a lot of time and effort working on the blog, which has made me dearly appreciate what we all take for granted in our lives: a consistent and reliable internet connection, and a relatively comfortable working space. Working on the blog involves a never-ending quest for that magical, elusive locus where the internet works best (if it works at all) – like crouching outside in the freezing cold in Eastern Turkey next to a space heater; or sitting uncomfortably on a plastic stool in a tiny, overcrowded and under-air conditioned hotel lobby in Hong Kong; or standing with the computer near the window for hours at a time; or some other absurd contortion that makes my back hurt.  Forget about ergonomics!  Also, while many hotels say over the phone, or in an email, or on their website that they have wifi, the fine print often reveals a different story. “So sorry, it was working yesterday, but now it's broken and we won't be able to fix it until next week.” “Yes, we do have internet, but my assistant failed to mention that it doesn't work from 6-11 pm.” “Yes, we have internet. Please feel free to use the single hotel laptop whenever any of the other guests isn't using it.” The logistics of managing thousands of pictures on our small, overburdened netbook are equally time and sanity consuming.  How I long for the days of having an IT Help Desk to call to fix all my computer and connectivity problems!  The blog is a labor of love, but it is indeed a labor. 

Enjoying a Hanukkah donut in Tzfat, Israel

And there are plenty of other day-to-day challenges. In many places in the developing world, you can't always count on having sound plumbing, electrical, and mechanical fixtures in full working order. In Pondicherry, India, we stayed in a delightfully atmospheric restored colonial villa where the toilet leaked constantly and the water pressure in the shower was so low we had to use the sink to wash off the soap and shampoo. In Petra, Jordan, we stayed in an upper mid-range hotel with an elegant pool and Turkish bath and an elaborate breakfast buffet, but we were repeatedly plunged into complete darkness by frequent electrical blackouts.  Don't even think of recharging your computer or iPod in the exposed, overburdened electrical outlet in the room, with a jumble of twisted wires disappearing under the rug! In Cairo, we stayed at a charming family-run budget hotel, with colorful rooms and a lovely rooftop garden, where the elevator to the twelfth floor had no door. With each ascent and descent, we were consumed by nervous visions of little hands, fingers and feet getting caught as floors 1 through 11 whizzed by.  And in a number of places, there are essentially two working settings on the air conditioner - full-blast need a sweater on, or sweaty, sticky hot off.

Arbel National Park, northern Israel

Even when things are in proper working order, there's often a problem we didn't anticipate. For example, we knew we'd be staying in Trichy, India for about a week, so we thoroughly checked out the hotel room and made sure the pool was functioning. But what we didn't anticipate was that the large, pretty pool would be unusable due to the powerful afternoon stench of raw sewage emanating from the adjacent property. In Melaka, Malaysia, we stayed in a very friendly mid-range hotel with spacious rooms that were full of character (think dark wooden furniture, batik décor, and a large four-post bed), where large sections of the extensive breakfast buffet were covered with tiny ants.  “Daddy, what are the little black spots on the watermelon?" "Talia, I don't think we should eat any fruit for breakfast today.” 

Playing in the Siq at Petra

On top of these issues, there's the constant searing heat and humidity (with the notable exception of Turkey), and the consequent daily applications of sunscreen, mosquito repellant, and anti-itch cream, as well as the frequent complaints from the children about their itchy, bloody (“Don't scratch it!”), bite-ridden extremities. Jeremy, especially, is a magnet for blood-thirsty mosquitoes.  And here's some valuable advice for traveling in a subtropical climate:  Before you pay for the room, be sure to check the bathroom carefully for mold.  Sometimes, they just paint right over it, but that doesn't mean it isn't there anymore!

We also have to make sure we have enough cold drinking water. “Daddy, I accidentally drank some water from the tap. It had a really strange taste. Am I going to die?” "No, you'll be fine [we hope!] – just try not to do it again."  In some places, the hotel provides free boiled water – you just have to make sure you wait until it cools off before you give it to the kids to drink.

Relaxing in Pondicherry, India

Another challenge in the developing world is the absence of sidewalks. Walking from point A to point B often involves a nerve-racking obstacle course on the edge of chaotic traffic, with the ever-present danger of having your young child fall into an open sewer or a ditch filled with garbage. And the fact that a street is labeled as "pedestrian only" means merely that there (usually) are no cars, trucks or buses – it doesn't mean motorcycles won't be zooming down the street constantly in both directions. I'd venture to say that the biggest danger of this trip so far has been crossing the street.  (Cairo takes first prize in this category.)

The Dutch fort in Galle, Sri Lanka

Of course, all of these issues are part and parcel of taking a year-long, round-the-world journey, and we knew what we were getting into when we signed up for this deal. But then there are the totally unexpected challenges. Like finding out right before we left the United States that Talia needed glasses – and then finding out in Israel that she needed new glasses, that her right eye was substantially stronger than her left, and that we needed to patch her strong eye about an hour each day to exercise the weaker one so that it will work properly – and then finding out in Hong Kong that she needed yet another new prescription. Or, like having our departure from the United States delayed by nearly two weeks because I had to spend a week in the hospital for diverticulitis – and then having a frightening flair-up in India that had Eden frantically researching in the middle of the night (with a sporadic internet connection, in a hot and sticky common area without air conditioning and teeming with mosquitos) whether we needed to leave India right away for first world hospital care. (Fortunately, I made it with a round of antibiotics and we were able to continue on to Sri Lanka.)

Beit She'an, Israel

But these challenges paled in comparison with what was to follow. In Sri Lanka, Talia had a seizure – it was only about 20 seconds long, but it was a very scary sight to watch. We took her to a doctor in Singapore, who did a full neurological exam and said everything looked ok. We continued on our way – and then the second seizure happened in Pemuteran, in northwestern Bali, where – to put it frankly – the medical care was clearly inadequate. Our worries were compounded by the fact that Talia had a high fever and was obviously battling some kind of respiratory infection.

It was Thursday morning and we were supposed to spend two more weeks in Indonesia, but we decided to fly to Hong Kong as soon as possible to see a doctor. She was quickly admitted to the hospital for influenza and bronchitis, and she was also diagnosed with epilepsy. It was a difficult time for us. No one wants to see their child face a serious, potentially lifelong medical condition. Thankfully, Talia recovered quickly from the flu and bronchitis. She also got started on a regime of epilepsy medication.

Our petit guesthouse room in Hong Kong

We decided to stay in Hong Kong for a while, so that Talia could get adjusted to the medication, we could see if there any side effects, and we could be under the care of a competent pediatric neurologist without having to switch doctors again. We've taken some excursions from Hong Kong (to Taiwan, South Korea and Malaysia, which we'll cover in subsequent posts), and tomorrow night we're moving on to France. Talia seems to be doing well on the medication, but we're always nervously on the lookout for a third seizure, which we hope will never happen. Our task is complicated with Talia, who seems to be constantly tripping over her own feet, falling down in the middle of the road, playing dead, and finding other ways to make our hearts stop.  I know, I know, being a comic klutz is hereditary...

So, how are we coping? Actually, really well. But I have to run. The internet connection is starting to falter and I need to get this post published.  And Jeremy is yelling, "Why did we have to go on this stupid trip anyway? It's too hot and humid. I want to go home now and see my friends.” Time for a comedy routine. Maybe some Monty Python will work this time. 

Outside the Topkapi Palace in Istanbul

At Dr. Yam's office in Hong Kong

On a bench in Hong Kong

Ramat Gan, Israel

Pondicherry, India

Playing in Jerusalem

At the Galle Face Green Hotel in Colombo, Sri Lanka

Talia and Baby, in Jatiluwih, Bali, Indonesia

Having fun in Ramat Gan

I hope you enjoyed the pictures.  They don't necessarily match the text of this post - they're just nice pictures of us (mainly, the kids) that I hadn't yet posted on the blog.